So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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