My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
