Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
