I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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