every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
