The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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