lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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