I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm just crazy horny about you
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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