Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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