I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
