I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize