I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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