dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
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Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
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I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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