You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
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You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
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How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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