PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
