It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
