It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
