I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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