i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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