I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I need to calm my uterus...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize