just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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