I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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