I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
