Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
