you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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