Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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