My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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