If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
