are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
