i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
