So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
