So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Randomize
