I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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