i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
