I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
