what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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