Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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