I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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