Just mADE A PArabola og urine
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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