You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
