Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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