Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The feeling are messing with the penis
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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