wat bout pragnant strippers??
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
