i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
