id be glad to
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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