Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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