he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
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it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
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The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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