first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
