Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Your cock deserves a montage
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Randomize
