not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize