The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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