I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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