before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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