I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
