when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You pole danced in your parka.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
