he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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