Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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